


Rise from the Ashes

by Bubblepanda07



Series: The Devil in me Meets the Angel in you [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angel Dean Winchester, Angst, Charlie Bradbury & Dean Winchester Friendship, Destiel - Freeform, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Romance, Sabriel - Freeform, crowlazar - Freeform, warlock!Crowley
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-01-21
Updated: 2015-03-16
Packaged: 2018-01-09 13:50:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 13,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1146738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bubblepanda07/pseuds/Bubblepanda07
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>With Hell sealed and Heaven open, life is back to normal—as normal as it gets for the Winchesters. This is when the alpha vampire takes the initiative to get revenge. But what are a few vampires to angels? Unfortunately for them, the alpha has a trick up his sleeve that tips the scales. Through the jumble of chaos, Sam and Gabriel are still traveling the earth and dimensions between. Though it’s not all bad, at least they have a begrudging warlock on their side…even if he sometimes entertains the thought of flambéing them.<br/>Sequel to The Devil in me Meets the Angel in you</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Spoiler Alert

**Author's Note:**

> Discontinued! Maybe some day...

Heaven was back open for business—pearly gates open and watched over—and a majority of the angels had returned. Surprisingly, it was in the same condition as it had been before the fall. Less surprisingly, the angels were still cranky and Balthazar had been stuck dealing with their crap for one month, two weeks, and five days—you better believe he was counting every minute. How he ever wound up being the go to person, he had no idea. About halfway through the month he had begun deferring people to Ezekiel, along with the other officers that stuck with Gabriel through the war. They were like a bunch of celestial two year olds. _‘Why should we listen to you?’ ‘What do we do?’ ‘Is this all of us that’s left?’ ‘Why is God still gone?’_ Then there were the ones that were still angry, whom he always sent to Samandriel, because who could be angry at the most adorable angel in the garrison?  

Seeing that the angels tended to be terrible when given free will, they had decided to give them jobs and had effectively turned a corner of Heaven into an office. It was their hope that when given a task and semblance of order that they would keep out of trouble. To Balthazar’s amazement, it actually appeared to be working, and when Ezekiel told him he could leave, he took the opportunity and fled with the shreds of sanity he had left.

           

When he touched down at the manor, he could have kneeled down and kissed the carpet. Speaking of, Balthazar was impressed as he took in the interior of Crowley’s manor, who had clearly redecorated since he had last been around. ‘ _Finally, I was one velvet curtain away from calling into home makeover._ ’

Looking out one of the windows, he discerned it was nighttime, moon hanging high in the sky and stars shining brightly. Flapping his wings, he popped into the study. Finding it empty, he went into the bedroom to see Crowley curled up on his side, blanket pulled up to his chin, sleeping soundly.

Balthazar crouched at the side of the bed, elbows resting on his thighs, smiling affectionately as he watched him sleep. It was nice to be home, he thought. As if in reply, he heard the unmistakable sound of a gun cocking next to his ear.

“I really hope that’s you, angel.” Crowley said, eyes still closed.

“Who else would it be?”

He heard the hammer cock back in to place as Crowley sighed and sat up, “Vampires. Don’t ask.” He waved his hand, dismissing any questions Balthazar may have.

Balthazar took in the sight of a sprig of Crowley’s hair that was curling into an impressive cow lick, something about it striking Balthazar as adorable.

Crowley blinked blearily at him, a small smile on his face. “Took you long enough. It’s been-“

“One month, two weeks, and five days.” Balthazar said, cutting in.

“Were you counting down the days, love? Whiling away the hours stuck in your tower in the sky, waiting to return to your prince?” Crowley teased.  

“Clever, did it take you all that time to think of that?”

Crowley’s nose crinkled and he sneezed, sniffling before speaking. “Someone must be thinking of me.”

“Guilty.” Balthazar said, smile still in place.

Crowley smirked and held out his arms, head tilted back slightly, “Come to daddy.”

 

“No way. There’s just no freakin’ way.” Dean said, eyes wide and glued to the tv.

Charlie had coerced Dean, Cas, and Kevin—though he was glad to—into watching one of her favorite tv shows with her, but didn’t expect to have a startling realization. Every time she saw Crowley, she could have sworn that he looked familiar, but she could never quite place why. She pressed pause on the remote and they all sat there in a stunned silence.

“Why is Crowley on the tv?” Cas asked from where he sat leaning against Dean with a confused head tilt, eyes squinting.

“But…this is one of my favorite episodes.” Charlie said, sticking her bottom lip out in a pout.

“Crowley…is Canton Everett Delaware?” Kevin asked in disbelief.

“The third.” Charlie added automatically.

“Now the ass-hat is an actor too? Shouldn’t that be illegal or something?”

“So-”, Charlie turned off the tv and looked over at Dean, smiling widely, “Changing the subject, how’s Sam?”

“He’s good.” Dean smiled fondly. “Still traveling the world and geeking out with Tiny Tim. Though he said they’ve mostly been going to tropical spots, but he’s not complaining. I think he said that they were going to start really getting into the time travel and weird dimension crap soon. I just told Gabriel that he better bring him back in one piece or I was gonna shove my boot up his ass.”

“You threatened an archangel?” Cas looked up at him.

“Yeah, so?”

“Sometimes, I do not know whether to be impressed or frightened by your bravery.”  

“Probably both.” Dean ran his fingers through Cas’ hair.

 

Sam and Gabriel touched down in a city with so many neon signs everywhere that it could only be one place: Vegas. Sam looked over to see the trickster dressed up as Elvis.

“You look ridiculous.” Sam smirked.

Gabriel gasped, looking appalled, “You shut your whore mouth, Winchester! I’m a hunk…of burnin’ love.”

Sam snorted, “Whatever, if that’s what you want to call it.”

Speaking out of the side of his mouth, Gabriel leaned in towards Sam and mumbled. “Dude looks like a lady at one o’clock.”

Sam looked in that direction and squinted, having an issue telling who he was talking about. They all looked like women to him. Looking back at Gabriel, he raised his eyebrows skeptically, and Gabriel put his hands up and his expression said ‘I’m totally not joking’.

“Let’s go check in, bucko.”

While they traveled, Sam insisted on staying in places that weren’t just fabrications of Gabriels. He also took his own belongings, because the thought of Gabriel playing dress-up with him was just too weird.

He had just asked the lady at the reception desk for a room and, when she handed him the keycard, she said—to Sam’s mortification, “Oh, you two are such a cute couple! Have a nice stay!”

Sam spluttered, “No, we’re not-“, he cut himself off because he was too embarrassed and wanted to get out of there so he just smiled at her.

“Let’s go, _pookie-bear_.” Gabriel said behind him, turning on his heels and heading to the elevator. Sam momentarily pictured himself strangling the shorter man.

“That’s not funny.”

“I beg to differ, I think it’s hilarious.”

Sam didn’t think it would be so bad if this was the first time it had happened.


	2. It was the...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Taking updates at a slower pace because this story is going to be quite a bit shorter than the last I think. :>

It’s no secret that angels were known for their might and power, their ability to lift heavy objects, to smite things with holy cosmic energy. There was certainly something to be said about Dean’s finesse with these abilities.

“That was…horrible.” Cas said, blinking at the smatter of gore before him.

‘ _Try smiting the vampire_ ’ Cas had suggested to Dean, having been training the hunter to use that particular skill. Dean had smacked his palm to the vampires head and pushed his grace into it forcefully, to the point that the molecules inside reacted violently and the creature exploded, sending flesh, bones, and organs to splatter against every available surface of the room.

Dean slowly turned to look at Cas, a piece of something—Dean was trying very hard not to think about what—dangling off his nose. ‘ _Seriously, what is that? Liver? Spleen?_ ’

Cas opened his mouth to speak again but Dean held up his hand to silence him, scowling. He was going to mojo himself clean and forget this ever happened. He had already been in a bad mood before he effectively turned a vampire into a bomb. They had hunted the vampire in question after it had bitten and changed some poor news reporter, the kind with a big dream and a small wallet. The vampire had some interesting things to say. ‘ _I’m surprised you didn’t get the message sooner, since we already sent some goons to Crowley’s._ _Word has it that you’re bosom pals now._ ’

Dean was about to set things straight and possibly tear Crowley a new one. He dialed the number that he had for Crowley and found the number disconnected. ‘ _Bastard changed his number._ ’ After a quick text to Sam asking if Gabriel could get the new number for him, he received a text with the new digits.

 

 Crowley looked at his phone on the top of his desk as it sounded off with Sir Mixalot. He didn’t recognize the number, but had an inkling who it was. Eyes still on the phone he said to Balthazar, “I bet you ten pounds that’s a Winchester.”

Not even a minute after Crowley’s ringtone stopped, the sound of Balthazar’s cell vibrating filled the room. He groaned and stood up straight from where he was leaning over the back of Crowley’s chair, reaching into his pocket and pulling the offending piece of technology out.

“Same number?”

“Worse.”

Crowley raised an eyebrow in question.

“Gabriel.” He said, sighing before answering the call. “Hello, _dear_ brother mine. Whatever is the matter?”

“I was just wondering if you and your lover boy knew anything about the big cheese of the vampires moving into action.”

“There’s a possibility that we did, yes.” Balthazar said, hand tucked into the crook of his elbow that supported his phone.

“And you didn’t think to spread the word? Shame on you!”

“Look,” Balthazar said before walking over to the sofa and flopping back on it, “do we look like babysitters to you?”

“I hope not, but it still would have been nice to give them a heads up.”

“And? It’s hardly like they can’t handle a few measly vampires on their own. Also, don’t think I can’t hear that music playing in the background. Next time you feel like admonishing me, don’t do it from a bar.”

“Hey, don’t shoot the messenger. I was just giving you a heads up. If things do get hairy, they’re probably going to turn to their estranged uncles for help.”

Gabriel’s comment was met with silence for a moment as Balthazar sat there with a sour look on his face, the words ‘estranged uncles’ echoing in his head like a bitter note. “Bite me.”

“I wouldn’t want to make your boyfriend jealous. Plus that would be a smidge incesty, so I think I’m going to have to end this before things gets weird between us. I hope you understand.”

Balthazar scoffed before jabbing the end call button and crossing his arms. He would have to get him back for that comment later.

“Problem?”

“Congratulations, you’re a monkey’s uncle.”

 

 Gabriel had just placed his phone in his pocket and picked up his drink when a song with a familiar hook started up and Sam shot a sharp glare at him.

He choked on his beer and started laughing, “I swear that’s not me, kiddo!” The archangel was practically in stitches.

“It’s not funny. You tortured me with this song!”

“Then let’s make some better memories!”

Gabriel hooked an arm around Sam’s waist and pulled him out onto the floor. It was your typical kind of club; dimly lit; bright, multicolored lights; modern furniture; and a variety of different people gyrating on the dance floor.

‘ _I never meant to be so bad to you, one thing I said that I would never do. A look from you and I would fall from grace, and that would wipe the smile right from my face._ ’

“Gabriel… _Gabriel._ ” Sam said, alarm tinting his voice. He couldn’t have stopped dancing, even if he wanted to, as he found his movements being controlled.

“Come now, Samsquatch, would it kill you to have a little fun?”

“This isn’t fun, it’s dance rape.” Sam shouted over the music.

“Well I couldn’t let you out here on your own. Big figure like yours, you would probably be tripping all over your feet.”

“I can dance.”

“Yeah, but if I let you go, you’ll dance with that skanky waitress with the fake jugs at the bar.”

“So?” Sam found himself being flung out, Gabriel’s hand clasping his and pulling him back in.

“That would be rude, this is our song! I tell you what, finish this dance with me and you get to choose our next destinations for the week.”

Sam couldn’t help himself, he started geeking out thinking of all the places he wanted to go, people he wanted to meet. Maybe meet the real Ghandi this time and not a wax statue brought to life by Paris Hilton. Well, why not? What went on in Vegas and all that. Worst comes to worse, he could just blame it on the heat of the moment.

 

 Two figures sat in a dimly lit room, moonlight filtering in through a small, boarded up window. One of them slid their long, sharp fingernails lightly against the polished surface of the table, the motion making an unnerving scratching noise.

“Did you find it?”

“I’m sorry, my lord, but it wasn’t there. Someone must have already taken it.” They wore a pained expression, disliking having to bring the bad news to his superior.  

The other man’s face pinched in frustration, but only slightly, still keeping his cool composure. It would be unfit for an alpha to display his emotions so easily. But they needed that book if they were to make their move against the Winchesters and the one who hunted down his brothers and sisters like sheep. He wanted to see them strung up and stripped of their skin, tortured as they had been. Then, as the life slipped away from them, have them turned into the very things they hunted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because it’s not a proper Sabriel fanfic without that song. ;P…or maybe it’s more proper without it. XD  
> Also, it creeps me out how many parallels I’m starting to be able to draw between the new episodes and my fanfic. >_>;  
> As always, thanks for reading, lovelies! Should be getting into the plot soonish~ :>


	3. Making a Spectacle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ‘Why is writing so hard?’, my life’s story~

Sam and Gabriel touched down in a bustling, stone paved alleyway, vendors lining each side selling their various bobbles. It still amazed Sam how no one would ever bat an eye whenever he and Gabriel appeared out of nowhere. The shorter man had tried explaining before that it was more like everyone acknowledged them as already being there, but he lost Sam when he started talking about metaphysics.

Sam examined a black vase nearby, the bright sun overhead glinting off the polished surface. He shifted, trying to better adjust the toga he now wore. Last time he had worn one was at a party when he was in college. At least it beat the sarong he had been stuck wearing when they visited Gandhi. Gabriel looked oddly at home dressed in the loosely draped white fabric. Sam eyeballed the golden laurel resting atop his tousled blonde hair.  

“Aren’t those to mark martial victories?”

“Look at you, Mr. Nerdypants.” He said, grinning up at him. “I figured we might as well be fancy if we’re here. Besides, I’ve had plenty of victories. I’m officially a retired general now.”

“Retired?”

“No more war, no longer a general. Hopefully it stays that way. At least for another few thousand years.”

“Whatever happened to the other angels anyways?” Sam said as he sidestepped a pair of children running by him, their laughter lilting merrily above the crowd.

“Most of them went back home. Heaven is now host to the most efficient office in existence, since apparently they’re not ready for free will yet. A few of the angels though…” Gabriel trailed off with a small smile.

“What?”

“A few of them went native and decided to stay on earth. Inhabiting vessels of people that were lost and making amends with their families.”

“You’re kidding. How did the family members react?” Sam asked, intrigued by this new side of angels.

“John Doe who used to abuse his wife and daughter suddenly becomes an upstanding citizen who adores them? They’re not complaining. There are only three angels that did that though. Still, shocked the hell out of me. I guess I really shouldn’t be surprised about how much influence humans can have on us.” He said, smirking over at Sam who was currently eyeballing a marble bust.

Walking over to another stand, Sam picked up a vile with a red substance inside, some of it dribbled on the outside and getting on his hand. He was pretty sure it was-

“Blood. Gladiator blood, to be more specific.”

“Dude, gross.” He made a face, lips curling down and eyebrows pinching together. Setting the vile down, he wiped his hand on his clothes.

“So, wanna go visit Caesar?”

 

Crowley looked up as his ears picked up a sound from down the hallway. A male figure became visible from around the corner, feet sliding on the rug as they ran, catching their self on the wall. Their eyes were wide in panic and they were breathing hectically, clearly terrified. They made their way up the hall and into Crowley’s office, frantically shutting the ornately carved, heavy wooden door behind them.

“What the hell is that thing?!” The man turned around, leaning upon the door, gasping for air.

Crowley raised an eyebrow at the intruder.  

On queue, Balthazar appeared in the center of the room, his blue eyes glinting severely and unforgiving. Stalking forward, he leaned into the man’s space, hands pressed against the surface of the door on each side of the man’s head. The man pushed back as hard as he could, desperate to get away from whatever creature this was. He had been turned into a vampire not long ago, so all of the things that went bump in the night were relatively new to him.

“I want you to go back to your master, tell him that Crowley has an angel on his shoulder, and should he send more of his minions that they won’t be coming back. Nod if you understand.”

The vampire nodded hastily.

“Good.” Balthazar stepped back, crossing his arms.

The man pushed hysterically on the door, desperate to flee, becoming more and more shaky as each push yielded no movement.

“Try pulling.” Crowley chimed helpfully.  

They flung the door open and dashed down the hall, disappearing.  

Balthazar sauntered over and sat in a chair in front of Crowley’s desk.

“What did you do to get them so scared?”

He tilted his head, eyes smiling, “I just gave them a bit of a light show.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you do that. I don’t suppose you would be willing to give me a demonstration?”

He gave a long suffering sigh like it was a great hassle put upon him before sitting up rigidly on the edge of the chair. Electric blue light reached out from his pupils, a golden glow surrounding him until it was shining brightly.

Crowley pulled out a desk drawer and retrieved a pair of black rimmed glasses. Unfolding them and sliding them on, a pleased smile slid across his lips. “Why hello angel.”

The blue light and glow faded as Balthazar became confused, wondering what the warlock was smiling about. “Going for the naughty secretary look?”

He huffed out a laugh, “You know, an owl’s eyes are bigger than its brain.”

The blonde tilted his head, one of his wings flexing slightly. “You can see my wings?”

“There’s an old trick that humans would use to see hellhounds, a little holy fire and voila. I thought maybe it would apply to your wings. I’ve always been a bit curious about them.”

“Curiosity sated?” Balthazar pressed his wings forward over the desk, the long, white striped pinions of his wing tips just on either side of Crowley’s face.

He smiled wickedly, “Not quite.” He turned his head and swiped his tongue against a feather. Balthazar froze, pupils blowing out, brain clinking to a halt. “Ah, that answers that question then.”

 

Crickets chirruped into the balmy night air, the moon casting a pale glow over the landscape. Dean shifted on the log he was sitting on, the bark crunching underneath him. He didn’t know why it took this long for it to occur to him, maybe too many other things on his mind, but he would never die now. Being an angel implied that he was immortal, which implied having to watch Sam, Charlie, Kevin, Garth—all of them—grow old and die, leaving him here.

“You seem troubled.” Cas said as he walked into the clearing.

“I’m going to have to just sit around while everyone dies.”

“What? Who’s dying?” The angel squinted his blue eyes.

“What I mean is that I’m an angel now, I won’t be dying any time soon.” Cas sat down next to Dean, looking at him like he was being a little slow, a small smile on his lips.

“ _Yes_ , but I think you missed the most important part of what you said. Being an angel also means…” Cas turned his eyes skyward.

“I can do that? I can go up there and see them?”

Cas nodded in response. “When that time comes, I’ll teach you how. That will be when I return to Heaven.”

 

Sam had finally conceded to staying in Gabriel’s apartment. He had tried roughing it when they went to see Gandhi and had woken up so covered in mosquito bites that he began pondering the merits of peeling his skin off. Rome was probably a bit more hospitable, but he would rather not try his luck.

To Sam’s surprise, the apartment looked… _normal._ He wasn’t sure what he was expecting, maybe a funhouse turned domicile?

“Allow me to introduce you to someone very special to me.” Gabriel put his pointer finger and thumb into his mouth, whistling shrilly. Sam watched as a jack russell terrier came skittering around a corner and up the hall, paws clicking on the floor. He crouched down and rubbed the dog’s ears.

“You have a dog?” Sam asked incredulously.

Gabriel paused in his petting and looked up at Sam, or tried to, as much as his neck would allow. “All the things about me, and this is what you have trouble swallowing?”

“I’m just used to you being strange, so that’s normal. But when you’re normal, it’s strange.”

“I’m thousands of years old, to me, everything is normal.”

“I guess you have a point.” Sam bent down and the dog trotted over to him, excited to see a new face. “What’s his name?”

“Why don’t you look and find out.” Gabriel smiled slyly, golden eyes twinkling.

Sam grabbed the round tag on the dog’s collar and inspected it. Reading the name engraved on it, he snorted. “Loki? Seriously?” The dog gave a small whine and put its paw on Sam’s knee when he wasn’t giving him any attention.

“You know what they say, you can’t take the trickster out of the archangel.” Gabriel chirped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got really self-conscious about all the questions in this chapter…like I wish there was an alternative to question marks. XD But we start laying into the plot next chapter, so there’s that. =P


	4. Nightlights, Nerds, and Neckties

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m pretty happy with this chapter~. Though I spent like fifteen minutes looking through flooring to decide what to put in Gabe’s apartment and then decided I wasn’t going to mention it and leave it up for you to imagine. XD

“So where do I stay?”

“Pick a room, any room. There are like…six.”

Sam was about halfway down the hall when Gabriel yelled, “Cept the second room on the left. Sometimes it’s a black hole.”

Sam stopped and turned around, staring at him.

“What? I accidentally broke it and never got around to fixing it. Some people’s houses have leaky pipes, mine has a black hole. Also, room at the end is mine, so unless you want company tonight, don’t pick that one.”

“You wish.”

“Hey.” Gabriel made a show of pointing at his eyes and pointing at Sam in the classic ‘I have my eyes on you’ gesture.

Sam snorted and continued making his way down the hall, turning the corner he eyeballed the doors. He tried the first one on the right—because there was no way he was sleeping in a room next to a black hole, thank you very much—and scrunched up his nose with what he found there. The room had a large canopy bed, a chandelier, and columns lining the sides of the wall. It was much too extravagant—and gaudy—for Sam’s tastes, so he closed the door, hoping that the other rooms weren’t the same.

The next room was much more down to earth, but the bed was suspended from the ceiling and, being a large guy, Sam much preferred things that were grounded. He braced himself for what he would find behind the third door, and to his surprise, it was actually quite pleasant. There was a full size bed, headboard up against the wall, a white comforter turned down beneath the handful of pillows stacks there. The other pieces of furniture consisted of a dresser with a mirror attached up against the adjacent wall and a small end table next to the bed, a little lamp settled on top. Sam walked over to the dresser, footsteps muffled by the plush ivory colored carpet, and set his dufflebag with his belongings on top.

Toeing off his boots, he changed into a loose pair of cotton pants before padding over to the bed and lying down. He made a pleased noise and stretched out his limbs. He was pretty sure this was the most comfortable mattress he had ever laid on and was now regretting staying in the hotel rooms during his trip with Gabriel up to this point. All those nights missed where he could have been lying upon this masterpiece of cushion engineering. On the other hand, at the beginning of this trip, Sam hadn’t been so sure that he wasn’t going to wake up in the dead of the night to find himself on a raft in the middle of the ocean or something equally ridiculous.

Putting his thoughts to rest, he reached over and turned off the lamp at his bedside. The corner of his mouth quirked up slightly and he rolled his eyes. Next to the dresser was a small pink nightlight that looked like it could have belonged to a little girl. Sam was too tired from the eventful day and much too comfortable to bother with it, so he left it and fell asleep, laying on his side with the small light casting a soft pink glow into the darkness.

 

Dean stood in the kitchen and watched Cas cook breakfast, an arm slung loosely around his waist while he flipped a pancake.

“They’re almost done if you want to go get Charlie and Kevin.”

He hummed in acknowledgement and kissed Cas’ cheek before heading into the library turned makeshift living room. Cas smiled softly at the small gesture.

“Hey, geek boy and nerd girl, pancakes are almost finished.” Dean called as he leaned around the door, knocking his knuckles on the frame.

“Nerd girl? What are my super powers?”

“Reading comics at the speed of light, and nerd rage!”

“Nerd rage? I think that’s more you.” She said as she walked by him.

She had introduced Dean to a popular mmorpg a few days prior, thinking it would be fun to play together. It started off well but after about an hour Dean had started talking smack to the npcs, resulting in Cas leaning in to tell Charlie that perhaps this had been a mistake. Charlie was inclined to agree when Dean declared that he was ‘a mighty orc warrior and would not be thwarted by the human scum’.

“Good morning Cas!” Charlie greeted as she waltzed into the kitchen.

“Morning Charlie. Syrup is on the counter.”

Charlie stacked two pancakes on her plate, a slice of butter between them. Kevin threw some blueberries on his own pancakes and joined everyone at the table.

“So, how goes the-“ Kevin used his fingers to imitate fangs, “problem.”

“Well, for us it isn’t a problem, but I can’t say the same for the people that keep getting caught in the crossfire. The alpha has been busy creating more vampires and they’re not exactly on a vegetarian diet.”  

“So he just keeps sending out his vampy minions while chilling out in his hidey hole?” Charlie asked, a bite of pancakes poised in the air.

“Pretty much. It’s just…weird. I mean I get that he doesn’t want to reveal his location because a vampire against an angel isn’t much of a prized fight. But then why do we keep running into his dudes everywhere?”

“Maybe he isn’t. Like you said, they’ve been creating a lot more vampires, so maybe they’re not all under his wing.”

“Yeah, you could be right.” Dean shoved a large bite of syrup covered pancake in his mouth. “I can’t help but feel like the alpha has something more planned though. Either way, I think it’s time we pay a visit to the Grinch and Mr Scrooge.”

“Who is Mr. Scrooge and what is a Grinch?” Cas asked with a furrowed brow.

Charlie snickered into her orange juice while Dean gave a slow blink with a flat expression.

 

Morning at Crowley’s manor found Balthazar trying to forcibly shove a book back onto the shelf while Crowley stared at him, one eyebrow arched. “That’s not going to fit there.”

“Not with that attitude it isn’t.”

He grinned over his coffee, taking a sip before setting it down and walking over to the shelves. Tapping Balthazar on the shoulder, he motioned for him to move over. Removing one of the bookends, he pushed the books over, making a wider space.

“You always were good at spreading things.”

“My we’re sassy today.”

“I’m sassy _every_ day.”

Crowley raised his eyebrows and tilted his head, humming thoughtfully. He couldn’t argue with that. He went to his desk and sat down in the cushy black chair. Not long after, Balthazar strolled over and sat on the armrest, using it as a tipping point to fall backwards, laying out in Crowley’s lap. The opposite armrest hit just shy of the angel’s shoulderblades. He folded his fingers together over his chest, head tilted back, stretched out lazily like a large cat.

“Tactile creature.”

“You’re one to talk.”

“I’m not the one sprawled out on your lap, now am I?”

“Would you like to be? Cause I’m sure I could accommodate you.” He cracked an eye open slyly and looked up at him.

Crowley admired the view of the angel laid out before him. “As tempting as that is, there’s a spell I’m working on.”

“Hm, I think you’re missing out on a great opportu-“ Balthazar raised his head and looked toward the closed door of Crowley’s office for a second before letting out a groan and dropping his head back down.

Crowley didn’t have time to ask what was wrong before the large wooden doors opened, Dean and Cas entering the room.

“We got a problem.”

“I would say. You’re in my house.”

“I noticed. Who’d you have to knock off to move in here, anyways?”

“I beg your pardon, I own this house. All the assets I gathered as a crossroads demon didn’t just go away when the pit got sealed, squirrel.” Crowley pressed the tip of his tongue to his teeth.

Life just really wasn’t fair, Dean thought to himself. However, there were more pressing matters than Crowley’s bank account.

“As I was saying, we need to know if you have any dirt on the Alpha.” Dean said before making to sit down on the sofa.

“I wouldn’t sit there.” Balthazar said, a teasing tone to his voice.

His face scrunched up in disgust and he stopped mid motion, standing up straight and looking at the piece of furniture like it had just offended him. That remark made him look around the room and he spotted a necktie stuck on the light fixture overhead. The sooner he and Cas got out of there, the better.

 “Coming to me for help? I’m touched, really. But no, I haven’t the foggiest what he’s up to. He was only sending vampires into my cabbage patch before he knew I had a scarecrow.” He jerked his head towards Balthazar.

“You’re sure you don’t have any ideas on what he might be up to?” Dean crossed his arms over his chest.

The warlock sighed and cocked his jaw to the side, rolling his eyes before trudging on. How had he been reduced to helping the Winchesters? “Alright, my best guess? He’s hiding for a reason, and it’s not just to avoid being smited into next thursday. If he didn’t think he stood a snowballs chance in hell against us, he wouldn’t have made us aware of his presence at all. Which means-“ Crowley gave Dean and Cas a meaningful look.

“He’s planning something.” Cas supplied.

“Precisely.”

“So we need to find him before he can do whatever he’s planning.”

“Already working on it.” Crowley didn’t have a cat to pet slyly, so he settled to rubbing a hand down Balthazar’s stomach. Not quite the same, but it worked in a pinch.

“I hate you.” Dean stared resignedly at him.

“I know, love you too buttercup.” Crowley said sarcastically.

“I feel so jealous.” Balthazar said, matching Crowley’s sarcasm.

This was it. This was Dean’s hell. He had only imagined making it out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The nightlight makes me happy~ :>  
> Also, the room behind the first door at Gabe’s apartment- http://snakesandmischief.tumblr.com/post/75567268562/i-was-looking-up-extravagant-rooms-for-writing  
> Though I imagined it having a higher ceiling and being more spacious. Regardless, it’s…intense. Haha


	5. Dios Mio!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello dearlings! ^,^ The plot is hereby interrupted due to inspiration from the 9x14 episode promo and will resume in the next chapter~ ;P

When Sam woke up, the sunlight was filtering in brightly through the lacy curtains that covered the two small windows in the room. He rolled over onto his back and stretched, grunting as his back popped. Looking at the clock on the bedside table he did a double-take, realizing it was ten in the morning. He blamed the ridiculously comfortable bed for sleeping in much later than usual.

He hadn’t gone for a run in a long time and figured it was overdue. Rolling out of bed, he trod over to where his bag sat atop the dresser and plucked out a pair of black workout pants. He changed into them and slipped on a pair of sneakers.

Walking out of his room and down the hall he found Gabriel sitting in the kitchen, wearing a white tank top and a pair of red silk boxers.

“And what does sleeping beauty want for breakfast?”

Sam made a face. Not that he didn’t trust the food that Gabriel summoned, but he always wondered if it had any adverse effects.

“Relax, I’ll even cook it.”

“You can cook?” Sam said, raising a skeptical eyebrow.

“Sure.”

Sam still looked unsure, but he wasn’t going to argue any further.

“I’m going out for a run.” At the word out, Loki trotted over to him and sat down, looking up at him hopefully with his leash in his mouth.

“Looks like someone wants to join you.”

Sam hesitated and Loki let out a little anxious whimper, completely winning him over. He huffed out a breath with a quick smile, squatting down he reached out and took the leash out of the dogs mouth and attached it to his collar.

“Alright, c’mon boy.”

Loki barked appreciatively. Sam opened the door and left Gabriel sitting in the kitchen.

He had never actually cooked in his life, but it couldn’t be that hard, right?

 

“I have made _fire_!” Gabriel exclaimed matter of factly, as Sam and Loki walked back in.

He had a frying pan in his hand and it—whatever it was—was flaming. Sam stared wide-eyed at the spectacle.

“I thought you said you could cook?”

“I may have lied. I’m the lie-smith, I do that sometimes.” He snapped his fingers and the fire, along with the charred remains of whatever he was fixing, disappeared.

“No, you’re an archangel.”

“I can’t be both?”

“I think being an archangel is bad enough.” Sam muttered under his breath.

He raised an eyebrow, smirking, and raised his hand up, pointer finger and middle finger held out. Flicking his wrist, the rug under Sam’s feet jerked forward, sending Sam sprawling onto his back. He walked over to him and Sam groaned out a laugh.

“What’s so funny?”

“Tricksy hobbitses.”

Gabriel tipped his head back and laughed, “You’re lucky I like you, kiddo.”

He extended his hand to him, which Sam eyed suspiciously before taking it. Gabriel effortlessly hoisted him up, unbudging from where he stood.

“So, change of plans for breakfast.” Snapping his fingers, they now sat at a small iron table outside of a little café on a balcony overlooking a lush valley hidden between mountains on either side, the sunlight shining in the vivid blue sky. “And before you ask, it’s an all vegan menu.”

Sam observed the people around them, a small family sat just outside the doors of the café and two other people—probably a couple—sat at another table. It looked nice and quaint. A waitress came by shortly after, a large smile on her face, and took their orders before heading back inside.

“Thought of where you want to go today?”

Sam looked at the time on his phone, realizing it was almost 11:30. He gnawed a bit on his lip before responding, “I was kind of hoping I could take a rain check for another day because it’s kind of late.” His week of location choices that Gabriel made a deal with him for was almost up and he didn’t want to waste a day.

Even if Gabriel wasn’t going to say yes already, he definitely would have with that kicked puppy dog look that Sam was giving him. Kid had that look down to a science and it almost always made him cave.

“ _Actually_ , I decided I’m going to let you choose until you run out of ideas, and _then_ we can go where I want to.”

Sam frowned and looked at him in confusion, “Why?”

“Because, if we go where I want to, where you want to go won’t seem so special anymore.” He said, his amber eyes sparkling brightly in the sunlight, a light breeze ruffling his bangs out of place. Even when he wasn’t using it, Gabriel seemed to radiate magic, Sam thought idly to himself.

 

Being a former demon, Crowley had many guilty pleasures. One of which happened to be watching soap operas. Friday night found him reclined on a stack of pillows in bed, wearing a black silk robe, a box of tissues laying half-hazard next to him and an empty flute of champagne in his hand while he watched the tv.

On the screen, a woman—Rosa—opened a door to reveal her husband—Alejandro—sleeping with the maid—Carlita. Balthazar only knew their names because Crowley had explained the story to him. In detail. Crowley gasped and clutched his robe tighter around his neck, surprised eyes glued to the tv. Balthazar, sitting beside him, pursed his lips, brow furrowed as he looked at the screen. Coming back from Heaven had found him making permanent residence at Crowley’s, which also meant learning many new things about him. Things that a confession in a dungeon didn’t bring out. It still amazed him how the man could go from murder to, well, _this._ Truthfully, he found it amusing and enjoyed all of his quirks as it kept life interesting.

He watched on as Rosa ran to her car and sped away from the house. She drove quickly down the road, sobbing, and in her turmoil she accidentally swerved and hit another car. The next scene found her lying in a hospital bed, hooked up to machines. Alejandro was at her side, teary and apologizing to her as she slept. Balthazar glanced over at Crowley and he was dabbing at his eyes, getting weepy at the exchange. Rosa woke up and looked at him, and it was revealed that she had amnesia and didn’t remember who Alejandro was.

Crowley, who was a little tipsy at the moment, gasped again before he started crying heavily. Balthazar looked over at him with a raised eyebrow, watching him wipe at his eyes with a tissue. With a seemingly put upon sigh, Balthazar held his arms out to his sides. Crowley gladly leaned into him and he wrapped his arms around him, rubbing a soothing hand against his back. Crowley sniffled after a few minutes, gathering himself, lip stuck out in a pout. Balthazar thought it was a bit ridiculous…but if, when the next episode came on, he threw a piece of popcorn at the screen and called Carlita a skank, no one but Crowley was the wiser.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made up something stereotypical for the soap opera. I don’t watch them, so I have no reference. >_>; Thank you for reading~ :3


	6. Worst Case Scenario

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello~ So sorry for a longer update break than usual, I pulled a muscle in my back and couldn’t type properly. ^^; (though it’s really the other fanfic I’m working on that I’m overdue for >_>)  
> Anyways, thanks for reading lovelies!

Dean sat at the long table in the bunker, using his upper lip to hold a pencil in place under his nose as he browsed through web pages for any supernatural related news. He let the pencil fall and cleared his throat as Cas came in the room, a large tome held in his hands.

“Anything of import?” Cas asked, looked at the screen over Dean’s shoulder.

“Not really. Maybe a wendigo case, though it could just be a bear.”

Clicking on another article, Dean heard his phone vibrate on the surface of the table. Sliding the screenlock off, he opened the message from Crowley.

“Speak of the devil.”

**Crowley: Have a possible location on tall dark and fangsome**

Dean showed it to Cas over his shoulder. Hollering out to Charlie and Kevin, Dean told them they were leaving before they disappeared in a flutter of wings.

 

The two of them touched down in a dark room with a concrete floor. Dean had been to crypts that had smelled better. ‘ _This looks like something from a horror mo-…why am I not surprised?’_ Dean turned around and spotted a beheaded body bound to a straight back chair. Nothing quite like a decapitated corpse to start the morning off.

Balthazar was sitting up on a metal counter, long legs crossed at the ankle, a nonchalant expression on his face. Dean looked at Crowley and took in his appearance. He was wearing a white apron that was speckled with blood, reminiscent of a Jackson Pollock painting, and wiping his red stained hands clean. Dean’s face scrunched up at the scene.

“What? Old habits die hard. Though I must be losing my touch, it took me almost ten minutes to get him to say the safe word.”

Dean supposed he should be thankful that it was a vampire and not a human.

“You said you had a location?”

Crowley tilted his head in Balthazar’s location, prompting him to hold up a piece of paper with an address scribbled on it.

“It’s possible that we may not find him there if he’s already left.”

“’scuse me, _we_?”

“You know what they say, if you want something done right…” The corner of Crowley’s mouth curved up.

While he was thankful to have the extra help, Dean would rather roll around in a tub of petroleum jelly than admit that working with the warlock had its merits.

“Guess that means you’re going too?” Dean directed at Balthazar.

“Of course, I’m such a team player after all.” He said, sliding smoothly off the counter, smirking.

“That’s the biggest lie I’ve ever heard.” Cas said, arms crossed, a smirk of his own on his face.

The blonde clucked his tongue, blue eyes playful, “You wound me, Cassie.”

He didn’t bother to correct him that he had become a team player, just so long as the team included Crowley. Partly because the thought still sent him into a near panic…and Balthazar just wasn’t the panicking type, so he shoved those thoughts back down to the deepest depths of his mind where his memories of The Titanic and Celine Dion lurked in the shadows.

 

The address brought them to a fancy villa that looked straight out of a real estate brochure, fresh painted walls, terracotta roof tiles, and a lawn that could have been tended to by Gaia herself.

“Guess he’s not a fan of slumming it.” Dean said, green eyes scanning around for any vampires guarding the place. He didn’t see anyone, but all the same, he produced his angel blade to be ready for any surprises. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Cas and Balthazar do the same.

“We should probably split up. Cas and I will take the bottom floor, you two take the second.”

“I’m sorry, I think you have me mistaken for someone that takes orders from you.”

“Maybe you should get off your high horse.”

Cas sighed and rolled his eyes, “I do not think now is the time to be bickering like children.”

“You really should listen to your boyfriend.” Balthazar said, tone holding a snarky edge.

“Yeah, and maybe I should shove my angel bla-“

“Finish that sentence and-“

Simultaneously, the pair of them went silent, mouths moving in failed attempts to produce sound.

“You two can continue after we finish this, until then, do try and be civil. Copy?” Crowley said, his hand held up, palm facing the pair of them. Even without the voice to back it, he could make out what Dean was mouthing, which was something along the lines of ‘You son of a bitch’ and ‘Go choke on a-‘, well, it got rather rude after that _._ “I said, do you copy?”

Balthazar crossed his arms, pursing his lips and squinting unamusedly. Cas gave Crowley a sharp look and laid a calming hand on Dean’s shoulder. Huffing, he mouthed, ‘I copy, you-‘. Crowley turned his hand and curled his fingers.

“-bag of dicks.”

Ruffles feathers soothed, they made their way towards the villa.

 

Stepping inside, nothing seemed odd or out of place, which in itself was strange. There should have been guards standing around or patrolling, anything but the pristine, empty halls and rooms that were laid out before them. Balthazar and Crowley made their way up the staircase, and it was in the first room that they had their first encounter. A handful of vampires jumped them, Cas and Dean facing the same problem downstairs. Between the angels and Crowley’s fire spells-even as a human he couldn’t seem to resist the element-they were made short work of.

Scoping out the rest of the house, they reconvened in the foyer, feeling uneasy. The whole thing was off-putting.

“This doesn’t make sense.” Cas said, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “If the alpha knew we were coming and left, why leave behind any vampires to find at all?”

Dean froze, “What if it was a distraction?”

“For what is the million dollar question.” Crowley said, eyes looking around as if there would be a clue.

“We won’t find out staying here.” Balthazar added.

After doing another thorough sweep of the place, the four of them parted ways.

 

It was evident what the distraction had been as soon as Crowley and Balthazar arrived in his office. The place had been ransacked, various books thrown about the room. The most disconcerting about the scene, was that a safe that Crowley kept hidden behind a painting had been wrenched open, the contents missing.

“No. No no no.” Crowley’s hands gripped the frame of the safe tightly, heart beating a speedy rhythm in panic.

“Do I want to know what they took?”

He closed his eyes and breathed out slowly through his nose, working to regain his composure. His next words were tight and measured, “The Book of the Dead.”

Balthazar groaned and let his head fall back. Just what they needed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That moment when you find out the book that was barely mentioned turns out to be important. ;P


	7. Rise from the Ashes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Greetings dearlings! Hope you enjoy~

“So you’re telling me the alpha now has The Book of the Dead?” Dean asked Crowley from the other end of the line.

“Good to know you’ve been paying attention.”

“But what does he want with it?”

“Does it matter? Anything he bloody wants to do with it is bad!” Crowley shouted, his temper rising.

“No shit, Sherlock, but knowing what particular brand of crap were about to have handed to us would be nice.”

“I can’t find out what he wants without the book, now can I?”

Dean heard a muffled voice in the background, probably Balthazar, Crowley sounding like he was turned away from his phone as he replied to him. Dean knocked his knuckles on the table as he waited impatiently.

“It slipped my mind, but I _did_ make entries of the spells. Granted I don’t have specifics, only what each spell does. If we’re lucky, we might find out what monster of the week we’re going to have to deal with.”

Dean sighed heavily, “Better than nothing. Call me when you find anything.”

“Of course. Kisses~”

Dean jabbed the end call button with a scowl on his face. He could just picture that asshole smirking on the other end. He often thought about responding with his own perverted remark to Crowley, just to catch him off guard. Knowing his luck he would respond back.

“Crowley?” Cas asked him.

Dean grunted an affirmative in response.

“Even if I couldn’t hear him, I would be able to tell by the look on your face.” The angel said with a smirk.

"I swear he would flirt with a doorknob.”

Cas hummed, “At least he’s never sniffed you.”

Dean looked completely taken aback by that remark before making a recovery. “Aw, did mister creepy sniff my poor angel?”, he said, grinning as he walked over to Cas and wrapped his arms around him.

“ _Dean._ ” Cas admonished, though a small smile played on his lips, heart beating a happy staccato.

 

Elsewhere, the day found Sam and Gabriel in Florence, Italy. The sun gleamed brilliantly, casting the city in a yellow glow, massive stone walls holding the warmth from the light that caressed them. The street was filled with people, their chatter saturating the space between the buildings. The air was muggy, causing Sam’s clothes to cling to him uncomfortably, yet he still couldn’t fight the big smile plastered on his face as he exited from one of the doors lining the adjacent alleyway.

“Da Vinci!” Sam said, voice tinted with excitement, hands moving before him as if to emphasize the gravity of the situation.

“Mhmm.” Gabriel replied, popping a piece of candy into his mouth. “Your nerd-boner is showing, kiddo.”

“Can you blame me? Haven’t there been any people that you thought would be exciting to meet?”

“Eh, not really…Nefertiti maybe.” He said with a waggle of his eyebrows.

“You’re so sexist.” Sam said, rolling his eyes, stopping for a moment to let a woman by.

“Excuse me? I am not, I just love powerful women. Remember Kali?”

“You mean the crazy pagan lady that tried to kill you and would have been happy killing all of us? Sure.”

 “Hey, she-,” Gabriel paused, thinking back on it, “actually, that pretty much sums her up. But it’s what pagan gods do in general.”

“That doesn’t make it right. You don’t still…?”

The shorter of the two arched an eyebrow, “I’m offended that you even have to ask. Although, I do still punish the wicked, just with less maiming and death. I’m not as angry and bitter as I used to be.”

A pudgy man leading a mule drawn cart lumbered across the street, passing in front of them. Gabriel put his arm out, catching Sam by the chest, stopping him as the large animal passed. An awkward silence hung between them for a beat.

“Dude, did you just soccer-mom arm me?” Sam asked, smirking disbelievingly down at the trickster.

“…no. Okay, yes. But I’d hate to have to deal with your brother if I let you get ran over by an ass.”

“You run over me every day.”

Gabriel barked out a laugh, “The moose is sassy today. You’ve been breaking out the sass a lot more, recently. I think I may be rubbing off on you.”

“You ever think it might be because I’m not worried about saving the world for once?”

“Good point. Trying to save everyone from certain death tends to ruin the mood.”

A man bumped into Sam, as much his fault as it was Sam’s, and proceeded to yell at him angrily in Italian before walking off. Shortly after, the man tripped and face-planted on the stone road. Almost as if some karmic entity interfered, a nearby flock of chickens found a mysterious new interest in him. An _angry_ interest, running towards him as if he had personally deep fried all of their ancestors, small beaks emitting furious clucks. The man hurriedly struggled to his feet and began running down the street, yelling frantically for help from the winged monstrosities.

Sam’s eyebrows shot up as he watched the spectacle, his forehead wrinkling. He turned his head pointedly to look at Gabriel who pushed his lips out and shrugged a shoulder.

“Strange, chickens are normally calm animals.” He said, feigning innocence. Sam figured this once he would let this trick slide.

 

Crowley sighed, head leaning on his hand as he scrolled through the spells he had catalogued on his laptop.

“Why can’t you steal normal things?” He asked Balthazar, who lounged on the sofa, legs loose and arms draped over the back of the sofa where he sat nestled in the corner.

“Where would the fun be in that?” The blonde took a sip of his drink. “Besides, I’ve stolen much, _much_ worse.”

That momentarily drew Crowley’s attention from the task at hand. “ _Oh?_ Like what, pray tell?”

“Mmm holy relics from upstairs.”

Crowley froze for a moment, puzzle pieces falling into place with that remark. “Wait, you’re not saying that you were Castiel’s friend during the whole purgatory debacle, are you?”

A sly expression slid over Balthazar’s face and mischief danced in his eyes, “You didn’t know?”

He sat there stunned for a moment, making a noise of amusement, “Slap my arse and call me Sally.”

“I may have also played both sides and lead the Winchesters to your location.” He smiled smugly. “...you’re not angry, are you?”

“No. I’m impressed, actually. You’re craftier than I thought, and I tend to make it a habit not to underestimate people.” His brown eyes lingered on the angel for a while longer before he turned back to the screen. It wasn’t long after that he found what he was looking for…and very much wished he hadn’t.

“I need a drink.”

“Bad news, I take it?”

“You could say that.”

“On a scale of one to ten?”

“I don’t suppose we could drop off the map? Maybe go somewhere tropical.”

“Sadly, no. Not because I wouldn’t gladly do it, mind you, but because my pesky brother would find us.”

“Thought not.”

 

Dean was washing dishes when his phone rung, quickly wiping his damp hands off, he answered, “What are we dealing with?”

“Progenitor.”

“Huh?” Dean had a lot of words in his vocabulary, most of them dealing with the supernatural variety, but that one wasn’t one of them.

Crowley made an impatient noise that one would make trying to explain something complex to a child, “Progenitor, that which something originates or descends from. There’s a spell that, using the blood of the child, can raise the parent. I’ll bet everything in my bank account that’s the spell they were looking for.”

It didn’t take long for Dean to realize what that meant, his hair standing on end. “ _Eve._ ”

“Unfortunately.”

“So you’re telling me ubervamp does this spell and she just, what, rises from the ashes?” He said, gesturing angrily.

“That would be the gist of it.”

“Well aint that just fuckin’ peachy.”

The worst part was, Dean had a feeling that she wouldn’t be so nice this time around. Killing someone generally made them somewhat irritable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And the true main villain is revealed~ Though you all probably figure that out. I tried not to be too obvious with the title but…I also wanted it to relate to the story. XD Which character wise it does because everyone is kind of falling into their new roles.  
> But basically, I really liked Eve and thought she went out much too soon. : )


	8. Why Not Robots?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh hey look who's alive?! So I took an impromptu break from this and started another fanfic so I could think up a beefier plot because I felt like my plans were really bland. Spurred by positive reinforcement I managed to think up one that I like! I hope you guys will like it too. Again, so sorry I dropped off the face of the Earth! Thank you for reading darlings!

“So, Eve is the creator of all the things fangy, clawy, and/or hairy?” Charlie asked, eyes blinking slowly as she took in the information. Dean had just given her and Kevin the down and dirty summary of ‘Went back in time for phoenix dust, she made Jefferson Starships-nasty sons of bitches-and then I ate the dust and she bit me. And then died.’  
“Yeah, and according to Crowley she’s as good as raised already.”  
“You said you killed her before…doesn’t anything stay dead these days?”   
Kevin sighed and rubbed his hands over his face, “I’m gonna need a minute.”   
“Do you think we should call Sam and Gabriel?” Castiel said from where he sat next to him.   
“No, we keep Sam out of this. Dude’s been through enough crap to last a lifetime. We can handle this on our own. Last time you were in the middle of an angel war and I was human. I don’t think anything she throws at us will be a problem.” Anything that would be unfortunate enough to stumble upon them could be taken out with a palm to the forehead and a surge of grace…as soon as Dean stopped accidentally making things explode.   
“I think you conveniently forgot the part where she can depower us. How did you phrase it? Make us limp.”   
Charlie looked back and forth between them, feeling like she had missed out on something-something that was probably another instance of Dean repressing his sexuality.   
Dean cleared his throat, “You make…us…limp.”   
Castiel raised an eyebrow, “I’m fairly certain that I’ve had the opposite effect on you.”  
Dean opened his mouth-trying to work out a response-his cheeks tinting pink, “You know what-I just-that’s beside the point. The point is, we’ve beaten her before, there’s no reason we shouldn’t be able to send her ass back to monster paradise. If that means dragging the amoral douchebag duo into this to keep Sam out, then so be it.”   
“And you don’t think Gabriel could make everything a lot easier on us?” Kevin said, finally contributing to the conversation.  
“Tell you what, if things go south we can call them to bail us out, okay?”   
No one argued with him, not because of overwhelming confidence, but because arguing with a Winchester was near pointless. 

“Are you sure I can’t send this to the bunker?”  
“No Gabriel, you cannot send it to the bunker.”  
“But it’ll be a great gift! Some people would be ecstatic to receive it!”   
“You’re not sending a cow home.”   
The hoofed creature chewed on the grass in its mouth, looking at the pair of them with a bland, disinterested stare.   
“I sent one to Thor once. I dropped it down on the balcony-top level of the palace. Did you know that cows can’t climb down stairs? Wish I could have been there to see how that played out.”   
Sam snorted and absently swatted at a gnat hovering about his face.   
“You really do enjoy messing with people don’t you?”  
“Give me some credit here, you can’t tell me that you never pranked your brother.”  
“There’s a big difference between pranking my brother and pranking a god.”  
“Demi-god, and what I do is just a little more-“, Gabriel made a wide gesture with his hands, “-large scale.”   
“Okay I get it, you’re a big time archangel and I’m just a human.”  
“’Just a human?’ Uh, have you met me? I’m the number one fan of humans…well, maybe number two, I think Cassie is in first; founder of the club and everything.”  
“Mhm, you guys going to start making ‘I heart humans’ t-shirts now?”   
“Don’t tempt me kiddo.”   
Tall golden grass brushed across Sam’s fingertips as the breeze blew gently.   
“So what was it like?”  
“What was what like? The human club? You’re going to have to be a little more specific.”   
Sam rolled his eyes, “Asgard.”  
“In a word? Big. Civilization where people live for thousands of years, lots of ideas of grandeur. Couple that with super physical capabilities and voila, giant columns, high ceilings, and a whole lot of gold.”  
“Sounds like your kind of place.”  
“It’s gorgeous, but let’s just say that tricksters aren’t very popular there.” Especially with a certain warrior who formally had blonde hair and goes by the name Sif. Neither she nor Thor had been too pleased about the permanent dye job. But black totally suited her better anyways. It kind of wasn’t fair that he took the blame for what Loki-the real Loki-did. Though honestly, he probably would have done it himself. 

Charlie tapped around on her tablet screen, scrolling through different creatures. Despite Dean saying that they would more than likely encounter new kinds of nasty instead of the familiar, it couldn’t hurt to be prepared. She popped a chip in her mouth and she pondered over ways to help. Why couldn’t Eve be the mother of all robots? Then she could just hack them. And save a pretty, kickass damsel that would be totally thankful of her help. Maybe then they could ride off into the sunset on a polite werewolf. She sighed dreamily.  
“I really hope you’re not making that sound over vampires. I’m not prepared to be a part of Twilight.” Kevin said from over Charlie’s shoulder.   
“Huh-what?” Charlie startled out of her reverie to see a vampire snarling at her on the screen. “Uh…no, definitely not.”   
Kevin sat down and took a chip, biting a corner off of it. “Sometimes I sit and think about how different my life would be if I had been a track-star instead of an AP student and Sam and Dean wouldn’t have been able to catch me.”  
“We probably would all be Leviathan food by now.”   
He made an apathetic noise in agreement, “That’s true.”  
“Early life crisis’s aside, wanna have a creature study party? There will be broooowniiiies!”  
“Sure, why not, better than studying physics.”  
“No kidding dude. Though physics has a lot less potential for murder.”  
“You’ve never taken an 8:00AM class.” 

Vampires circled around a sigil painted on bare ground. The clearing was dark and a chill had crept into the night. A blade slid across a smooth palm, cutting into dark flesh. Thick blood dripped down into a wooden bowl and puddled around fur, feathers, scales, and claws. Fire crawled along the sigil before curling into the center and taking form, a woman’s figure emerging from the flame; her eyes reflecting an eerie, otherworldly light. Standing up on pale, bare feet, she straightened her back and pulled her shoulders back; standing tall.   
“Welcome back, mother.”  
She bowed her head in greeting.   
“I gave the humans a chance, I think it’s time we take the Earth back.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Eve gets the party started~


	9. I once was afraid, I was...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovelies~ Welcome to this weeks creature feature ;P

Dean browsed through various news articles on the laptop, occasionally clicking on one that showed promise of anything supernatural. He was just about to take a break when one headline caught his attention.   
“Hey guys, I think I found something.”  
Cas leaned over his shoulder which-yeah, okay, that was moderately distracting-and Charlie muted the television.   
“Like a may be something or a definitely something?”  
Dean looked down at the words on the screen, reading them aloud for everyone to hear, “Multiple persons gone missing, the perpetrator appears to have left life-like statue replicas in their place. So, you tell me. I mean unless we have some sort of speed chiseling Michelangelo with a penchant for kidnapping, pretty sure this is our kind of thing.”  
“Well, when you put it like that.” Charlie deadpanned. “Say this isn’t a body snatcher with a penchant for art, what do you think it is? Is there a chance it’s related to creature lady?”  
“Hell if I know, so I say we head out and see what our mystery monster of the week is. Time to pack up and head out. Kevin, hold down the fort and keep an eye on the news.”   
Kevin waved at him in acknowledgement, too invested in his book to give a verbal answer.

There he was; Dean Winchester, seasoned hunter, novice angel, ex-king of hell-standing between two people with their fake FBI badges held upside down.   
“Newbies, huh?” Dean supplied with a smile.   
Lucky for Dean, the other agent bought the lie. “I know how that is. Agents Rogers, Barnes, and Romanoff, right this way.” Leading them over to the statues of the latest crime scene, he gave them the details that they had. “From what we can tell so far, the perp is taking people and leaving these behind. Which that in itself is weird enough, but the families of the victims say the statues are spitting images of them. We think there’s gotta be more than one person responsible because one person trying to lug all these things around, especially out in the open like this, would need at least one other extra set of hands.”   
Dean wrapped his hand around one of the statues arms and lifted up, the statue moving easily. Eh, they weren’t too heavy, he wasn’t sure why anyone would have trouble. The agent’s eyes opened wide at the same time that Cas cleared his throat and gave him a pointed look. ‘Oh right, angel mojo. Whoops.’  
“You uh, must do a lot of heavy lifting.” The agent said, brows furrowed as he eyeballed Dean’s arms.   
“Can’t keep me out of the gym! I’m a regular junky. Always lifting, it’s an addiction I tell you.”   
“Maybe our guy is a lifter too.” He said with a laugh. “I’ll leave you guys to it.”   
Dean let out a breath once he was out of earshot.   
“Alright, let’s take a look at these things.”   
Charlie turned to the statue next to her, “Wow, it’s even got buttons on its shirt. And stitching on its shoes!”   
“It’s even got a tattoo. They went all out. I wonder what kind of thing goes napping people and leaving these. Not sure how to search for that.”  
Next to him, Charlie went still, hand freezing where it was moving against the stone. “Dean…what if these aren’t statues?” She asked, swallowing thickly.   
Dean’s eyes widened and he drew his hand back, wiping it on his coat. “That’s messed up. So what, we have some sort of Medusa thing running around? What was that, a gorgonzola?”   
“Gorgon. Gorgonzola is a type of cheese.” Charlie corrected him.   
Dean looked into the eyes of the statue. “This is all kinds of messed up.”  
“So if it’s like legend we just have to find her and have her look at her own reflection.”   
“If it’s like the legend, and that’s a big if.”  
Cas squinted in thought, “I don’t recall one of these ever existing outside of stories.”  
“Do you think it could be Eve’s doing then?”  
“I think it’s highly possible.”   
“I’ll check out and mark all the cases around to see if I can see where it might be hiding out.”   
“Pretty sure we can rule out the hair care aisle at Walmart.” 

Sam was a puzzle that Gabriel couldn’t quite figure out. He could ask him for anything, and yet he only asked for things that were offered. Though he supposed that’s why he had a soft spot for him. Very few would see him as anything more than a tool to use and, once they got what they wanted, they would ignore him. Well, if they knew he existed in the first place. But not Sam, who seemed to see him as more than a celestial entity.   
Gabriel snorted as he watched him throw one of Loki’s toys down the hall and the dog’s paws slipped on the floor, sending him skidding into the wall.   
Sam winced, kneeling down when the dog made its way back to him, scratching it behind the ears. “I’m sorry boy, I didn’t mean to throw it that far.”   
“You keep coddling him like that and you’re going to spoil him.”  
“Please, like you haven’t already.”   
“He’s only mostly spoiled.”  
“Riiiight.”   
“So!” Gabriel clapped his hands together, “What are the plans for today?”   
“I was thinking somewhere with a castle? To be honest, I’m kind of running short on ideas.”   
“One medieval kingdom, coming up!”

Charlie tapped out the last location on her tablet, “According to this, the gorgon should be within this area here.” She said motioning to the center of the spots on the map. Turning to the laptop, she brought up the coordinates on google maps. “That’s different.”  
“What is?”   
“I was kind of expecting a forest or something, but there’s a house.”   
“I guess our monster has taken to the domestic life.”   
“The real housewife of Ancient Greece.”  
“How did you gather that the gorgon is married?” Cas asked, confusion clear on his face.   
Dean huffed out a laugh, “That’s one reference I think I can forgive you for not getting.” 

The Impala pulled up in front of a small house, heavy curtains drawn behind the windows. Each of them drew their own respective mirrors with them out of the car. Dean’s boots scuffed on the pavement as the three of them made their way around the back of the house, looking for an entrance. Dean spoke low on the way there, “We get in, split up, and whatever you do, keep your eyes downcast unless you want to get stoned.”   
The trio crawled into the house through a window, each heading their own way, Charlie heading up the stairs. Dean went down into the basement as Cas made his way to the right.   
Cas wandered into a living room that was sparsely decorated, with the unfortunate addition of the family that the house belonged to. His eyes swept around, looking for any sign of the gorgon. He startled when he heard a noise from the mantle over the fireplace, gaze darting up to the cat that had knocked over a vase. When he did, he caught sight of something off to the left. The creature smiled as he looked it directly in the eyes, his skin turning gray before becoming rigid and turning to stone.   
Dean heard a noise from upstairs and headed up to check it out. By the time he arrived, the gorgon had moved on, leaving the damage behind. Dean felt his blood chill.   
“Cas? Cas?!” His voice was rough with panic as he ran over, framing his now cool face with his hands. “Come on, no no no. Cas.” Face crumbling, he pressed his forehead against Cas’, the gorgon forgotten. This couldn’t be happening, they had finally gotten together! His heart plummeted to his stomach. 

“Okay, just like Hermione and the basilisk, you can do this Charlie.” She said to herself, unaware of the scene playing out downstairs. A wooden board creaked beneath her foot and she cringed at the sound. Coming to a door, she swung it open. She stilled when she heard a quiet hiss behind her. She rubbed a thumb over the compact in her hand before popping it open and holding it up over her shoulder, squeezing her eyes shut.   
A sharp shriek pierced her ears as the monster was caught off guard, the sound getting cut off as she became the maker of her own undoing. Turning around, Charlie looked at the stone figure.   
“And that’s how it’s done.” She said as she snapped her compact together. 

Dean’s heart jittered as Cas’ skin became pliant under his fingers and life breathed back into him. He inhaled sharply; cheeks still tear stained as he pressed kisses over Cas’ face. He wrapped his arms tightly around him, choking on a sob.   
Charlie came down to find Dean a mess and Cas looking utterly bewildered as he tried to calm him down. “Did I miss something?”

“You know, when I said somewhere with a castle, I didn’t mean one with a dragon in it!” Sam said as he ducked behind a wall to avoid a jet of flame.   
“The dragon was a surprise!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Side note, how about that 200th ep, huh? That...was amazing.


	10. In Too Deep

“You know, I thought Eve was bad before, but gorgons, glorified party sirens, sea kelpies, and-whatever the hell this is!” Dean said, ducking down to avoid a…flying woman’s torso. “Look, I’m sure you’re a nice lady aside from being a bloodsucker, but you’re a little top heavy for my tastes.”   
The woman flapped her wings before swooping down again, Dean catching one of the leathery appendages with an axe when she came near, throwing her off her flight path.   
His phone rang and he fumbled for it, fishing it out of his pocket, “Charlie, please tell me you and Cas have found the other half of our winged problem.”   
“Yes! Unless in the unlikely event these are someone else’s severed legs. In which case, awkward. Cas should be coming with the salt right aboooout-now!”   
Dean watched as the Manananggal burst into flames, shrieking and flying erratically, catching the tops of trees on fire before falling hard to the ground. It’s crackling body twitched where it lay on the ground.   
“…I’m guessing by the shrieks that it worked?”  
“You could say that, yeah. We should also probably call the fire department.” 

Eve’s assault had started out slow, a new creature coming to light every couple weeks, but in the past few days they had encountered two new breeds alone. For Dean and Cas, the ordeal was more stressful than anything, but Charlie and Kevin were starting to show signs of exhaustion. Dean gnawed on his lip as he drove them home, considering calling Sam. He had noticed the dark circles under Charlie’s eyes and how her normal perky demeanor had dimmed. Dean had seen Kevin hunched over a book, occasionally scrubbing at his eyes after doing research for long hours enough so that he had the image engrained into his mind. 

The trio of them collapsed on the living room sofa, Dean propping his feet up on the table and Charlie melting into the plush cushions like a ragdoll.   
Dean clicked the tv on and almost wished he hadn’t as he flipped through the news channels, all of them showing the same clip. With a resigned sigh, he left one on, listening to the news woman rush through her speech.   
“-and here you can see the footage that was taken from the remains of a ship, it appears to be some sort of giant sea creature. Scientists are baffled by its emergence. While there are numerous things in the deep ocean that we are unaware of, why this creature has come to the surface and just how much of a threat it is remains to be seen.”   
Cas turned his head to look at Dean, “Is it time to call Sam and Gabriel now?”  
“Either that or it’s time to build a jaeger.” Charlie said with a yawn.   
Dean rubbed a tired hand over his face. He didn’t want to, but Eve had been running the three of them all over the place and now this was something way out of their depth. Literally. 

Sam blinked open his eyes and propped himself up on one elbow as he answered his phone, cutting off the ringtone. Loki stirred from where he lay at the foot of Sam’s bed, whining softly and tilting his head. The dog had quickly warmed up to Sam and taken to curling up on his bed at night.   
“Hey Dean. What’s up?”  
“We got a problem. We all tried to deal with it so you wouldn’t have to get dragged into this mess, but-we need help Sammy.”   
“How big of a problem are we talking about exactly?”  
“Grab your golden goose and we’ll explain when you get here.”

The three of them explained what had happened, from the stealing of the book, the rising of Eve, the monster spree, and the cherry on the creature feature cake.   
Watching the news footage, when they got to the part with the monster, Gabriel swore in a language that Sam didn’t recognize.   
Gabriel huffed out a short, wry laugh. “Do you idiots have any idea what you’ve gotten into? We’re gone for a couple months and the world’s in danger again. Someone really needs to take out an insurance plan on the Earth with as many brushes with apocalypses as we’ve had. This shit would never happen on Mars.”  
“I take it you know who our mystery guest is?”  
“Oh I’m very familiar with that particular type of nasty. Tell me, have you mooks ever heard of Ragnarok?”   
“I’m gonna go out on a limb here and guess it’s not the name of a holiday?”  
“I’d say that depends on who you are. To sum it up in a nutshell, it’s the end of days for Asgard, only apparently Eve put a ratchet in that and brought it to dear old Midgard-which would be us.”  
“So what the hell is that thing on tv?”   
“Jormugandr.” Kevin said with a weary sigh, walking into the room and dropping a large worn tome onto the table. A faded, gold embellished dragon was laid out on the right page with an excerpt written on the left.   
Skimming over the page, something jumped out at Sam.  
“The spawn of Loki? As in…?” His eyebrows were raised as he leveled an accusing stare at Gabriel.   
Gabriel noted the look, throwing his hands up in defense, “Woah, hey there kiddo, you’ve got the wrong idea!”  
The room let out a collective sigh of relief, all of them weirded out by the prospect.   
“I only played the guy for a few millennia, Jormugandr and Fenrir are the real Loki’s doing, not mine.”  
“Fenrir?”   
Kevin flipped to the next page in the book, a giant wolf painted on the page, fangs bared at a man pinned underneath its massive paws.   
“My guess? We’re going to be seeing this guy soon.”   
“So what exactly would you suggest we do about it?”  
“Apart from building a bunker on top of a mountain and hoping Fenrir doesn’t get you where Jormugandr can’t? Beats me.”  
“Beats-beats me? Can’t you mojo something up?”  
“I’m not entirely sure how powerful you think I am. If you had called me sooner I could have dealt with Eve no problem, wave of my hand and she’s back to being a pile of ashes. But since you waited, trying to take out a giant serpent and wolf of demi-god blood? Not so easy. The only advice I can offer is that we try and find the origins of the two.”  
“Isn’t Loki dead?” Cas asked, a confused tilt to his head.   
“Pft no, we just made a little deal. I got to parade around as him, and he got to run off from Asgard where everyone wanted him hung up by his toenails. You guys think I’m a troublemaker? He is trouble. Makes a bangin’ lady though…a bangin dude too, actually.”   
“Wait wait.” Sam grabbed Gabriel’s arm, turning him to look at him, “He’s not your dog is he?!”  
“Yes, because I would keep the chief trickster of mischief as a pet…actually that does sound like something I would do. But no, he isn’t.”   
“So what are we looking for here? Big dude, little dude?”   
“Male, female, cat, dog, llama, your guess is as good as mine. And even if we can find the guy, there’s no guarantee he can help.”  
“Not like we haven’t faced worse odds in worse conditions before.”  
They were all silent until Charlie knocked twice on a coffee table. “You know, knock on wood and all that…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How could I resist? ;)   
> As always, thanks for reading, lovelies~! ^^


End file.
